Interview with

Marian Kotowich-Laval

Marian is a dear friend of Dani and wife to other interviewee Robert Laval. She took time to get on a virtual call to share with us some of her perspectives around Eldership and and end of life. While telling about some of her impactful moments in life, she reflects on some gender dynamics she experienced as an Indigenous woman. A survivor’s mindset has been useful through some of her challenges and she talks about its limitations too.

 

About our guest

Marian Kotowich-Laval

Marian Kotowich-Laval (she/her) currently lives on the unceded traditional lands of the T’smsyen Nations near Terrace, BC since 2006. She loves the beauty of the land and the people in the Pacific Northwest. She retired  from UNBC in 2019, after teaching in the B.Ed. Program and coordinating aboriginal services for 13 years. She is now semi-retired and working part-time coordinating Education programs for Kitsumkalum First Nations.

  • Marian identifies as a nêhiyaw-iskwêw or Cree woman. Marian is of mixed descent, late-mother, Flora (Cree) and late-father, Leo (Polish). Marian thinks and feels deeply about things, like her beautiful mother and is also very inventive and enjoys the constant flow of ideas that have a touch of other-worldliness, like her father, an artist.

    Marian is the mother of two beautiful women and embraced two wonderful adult-step-children later in life. Together with her life-partner of 30 years, Robert Laval, they adore their nine amazing grandchildren, ranging from 9 months thru to 17.5 years.

    Marian values life, fun, laughter, meaningful relationships, and the healing power of work. She thrives in nature, solitude, and listening to her inner being. Her inspiration comes through her activities, imagination, creativity, and especially, enjoys observing the great mystery of inter-connectedness and potential.

    Marian has a vivacious, playful, and generous spirit, complimented by her honest anchoring qualities. She enjoys music, plays many instruments, and sings folk and traditional ceremonial drumming songs. She lives rurally and loves gardening, her pets, preserving food, studying health and natural medicinals and has an appetite for adventure and discovery.

    PAST
    Marian was the 7th born in a family of 10 siblings (Marlo, you are always in my heart little brother) in the Eastview area of Regina, SK. She identifies with Kaministikominahikoskak Cree Nation (Cumberland House, SK) as her roots-home, where her mother grew up and where Marian also began her love of living off-grid.   

    Marian’s spiritual life is guided by the stories, skills, and indelible footprints of her Elders and mentors, that now take-on all forms. She started her spiritual journey as a very young child, out of necessity, prompted by difficult circumstances. She began exploring her indigenous identity in the 1970’s, her Cree roots and traditions in the 1980’s. Marian is currently part of the Lakota Sundance ceremonial path since 1992. She has participated in the Raindance Ceremony twice in SK, to give respect and honour to her late indigenous teachers and birthplace. She abides and respects the laws of nature and believes that “Every day is a ceremony and is precious.”

    Marian earned a Masters of Arts in Leadership and Training at Royal Roads University (2004), has a certificate in the Application and Management of Information Technology from the University of Victoria (2001) and has many other varied talents and credentials.

    CLOSING
    Marian hopes that you will get something of value from listening to some of her story. Mind you, she talked for 2 hours, and you are only hearing snippets of the interview. Enjoy!Description text goes here

 
 

1. Could you discuss some memories of times or events that contributed to a person’s healing and wellbeing?

 
 

Marian begins by sharing her journey growing up and her relationship with her Indigenous identity. She tells about ways racial tensions and gender dynamics in her family and more broadly affected her path. She had to face particular challenges as an Indigenous woman, accessing cultural practices was also one of those.

 

“I think I’ve come at my age to a lot higher level of awareness and forgiveness because I’ve made enough mistakes too, that I try not to repeat. When it comes down to it, we are all just very flawed.”

— Marian Kotowich-Laval

 
 
 

2. What does it mean to be an Elder?

 
 

In this second part, Marian expands on her views about aging but also the roles of Elders. She tells stories of her own experiences with Elders and how they have helped her to process many of her difficult life experiences. Then Marian shares about her journey growing into her own wisdom. She speaks about humility and the responsibilities she perceives with that stage of life.

 
 

3. What are some beliefs and experiences associated with dying and death?

 

In the last part of the interview, Marian continues talking about what she has learned from some Elders and how it influences her perspective on life and death. She shares some more challenging experiences of her life but also the ones that sparked a deeper hope and shifted her path in significant ways. She explains how her appreciation how life is balanced with a peaceful look towards later stages.

 

“It’s really beautiful I think what also the aging process does. It starts to give you enough information and data, I think, as well as just experience and an exposure to people and other ways of operating in the world, that we begin to kind of shape an identity.”

— Marian Kotowich-Laval

 
 
 

“I really think that we need to, as beings, contemplate our afterlife. For me, this is just mine and I own it totally, there is just no fear and it’s gonna be pure love.”

— Marian Kotowich-Laval