Interview with
Haruko Okano
Haruko has been reflecting about the topics of aging and dying for many years through artistic, spiritual and healing practices. Dani invited her to share her thoughts about these topics and their relationship with her practices. Haruko also tells about some of her family experiences, how they have shaped her and how she is in an ongoing process of mending these relationships.
About our guest
Haruko Okano
Haruko is a third generation Japanese-Canadian. Japanese that is called Sansei generation. She was born in 1945 in Toronto to a single mother. Orphaned at the age of 8 and a half, she was made a permanent ward to the Children’s Aid Society of Toronto until the age of 18.
Haruko moved to British Columbia in 1972 and currently lives in Vancouver. She has been a professional interdisciplinary artist for over 35 years. She is a staunch advocate for racialized and indigenous artists and against violence towards women and girls. Haruko has served on the local Japanese Canadian Human Rights Committee for 2 years.
1. Could you discuss some memories of times or events that contributed to a person’s healing and wellbeing?
Telling about her life story, Haruko highlights some teachings from experiences of hardship and from the context of growing up as a Japanese Canadian. She offers reflections about how her different family relationships were learning challenges. How do you cease repeating the negative patterns you grew up with? You can hear her talk about the steps she took in her life to engage in her own healing and how it then fed her desires to offer back for other people’s healing journey.
“So the empathy has to be two ways : you learn to be empathetic and not feel guilty in a negative way about yourself for what you didn’t do and what you should have done and the same for the person who has perpetrated violence against you. ”
— Haruko Okano
2. How do you feel about being an Elder or Senior in today’s world?
The conversation continues with Haruko talking about her views on the cycle of life and ways to prepare for the later transitions. It is important to take a sober look at our relationships. How can we find types of closure or lessons to carry on? She talks about this endeavor not as 5-steps process but a way to grow up and age. If we’re individuals that are ever changing, how can that change orient towards healthier relationships?
3. What are some beliefs and experiences associated with dying and death?
Continuing on the thread of tending to our relationships as we age, Haruko extends to describe her vision around dying and grieving. She invites us to see how the tethers of our relationships with loved ones stay alive through this passage. She also shares reflections about how these connections between generations through time are also to be mindful about. What kind of responsibility does this bring forward?
“I don’t know if you’re ever an elder with a diploma. I think it’s a process and anywhere along that process, there are moments where you can give something. […] Someone calls and you recognize something, and something in you heart speaks and you lay the seed.”
— Haruko Okano
“Really, when someone dies, it’s our relationship that we grieve. But we grieve it because we think it ends, but it doesn’t.”
— Haruko Okano