Interview with
Robert Laval
Robert is a dear friend of Dani and husband to other interviewee Marian Kotowich-Laval. Our virtual conversation with him felt like we were actually sharing coffee and sitting together. We are thankful that he shared with us some of his personal inquiries about aging and dying. He weaves in the topic of near-death experiences. How they have impacted people sparks a lot of questions for him.
About our guest
Robert Laval
Bob Laval lives a full and varied life. He was raised on a farm in Saskatchewan in the days without power and running water. He hitch-hiked over 10,000 miles (North America and Europe) in his 20s. He taught in Germany and France in the 70s. French is Bob’s first language and he has a love for world cultures and languages.
He is a lifelong learner and returned to university in his late sixties. Then he went on to earn a Master’s of Education with a focus on leadership when he turned 70. Bob enjoys staying current in technology, world affairs, and esoteric studies.
His life was dramatically changed when he met his elder who adopted him and brought him into the Lakota Sundance way of life and ceremonies. This path has informed his way of being and his relationships with himself, his family, work, and community.
1. What does it mean to be an Elder?
In this first part, Robert talks about his relationship with Indigenous traditions and what they taught him about aging and Eldership. He speaks about the difference in these traditions between being old and embodying the role of an Elder. Then Robert tells examples of the conditions he saw some Elders live through and the importance of their engagement.
“It’s a vision of not necessarily having answers but a way of thinking, a way of living, a way of relating that has to do with having some responsibility for the evolution, the care and the uplifting of the people.”
— Robert Laval
2. How do you move towards becoming a healthy elder?
The interview continues with Robert speaking about his views about the later stages of life. Spirituality has influenced his values in many ways and created curiosity for other beings, human and non-human. He then continues talking about the topic of death. He shares different thoughts about his own perspective about this transition and the stories behind that impacted him.
3. What are some beliefs and experiences associated with dying and death?
Robert ends the conversations by expanding on the topic of near-death experiences. He shares insights from research around the topic and how that makes him question his own views. How people have been changed by these experiences makes him want to reflect deeper about his own path towards later stages of life and how to prepare with humility.
“The journey is more about impacting your worldview and how you’re going to move and allowing others to be different. That is a huge component. If you’re an elder, you really allow others to be. ”
— Robert Laval
“One of the things is that they come back with a sense of service. They come back with a sense of helping other people, of being kind to other people, of getting out of toxic relationships because it doesn’t work.”
— Robert Laval